I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
Two words: blizzard sex
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
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