We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize