margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
my being single is dangerous.
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
