I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
I think you'll appreciate my way of waking up today: Under my cubicle, boxed in by boxes of printer paper, and hung over. I don't even know how the fuck I got in here in the middle of the night. I went to my car and fell back asleep. I'm now 2 1/2 hours late.
Randomize
