I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
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