i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
My pussy is not your playground.
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
Randomize
