I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
