if you like me you must not know who I am
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
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