my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
Randomize