If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
i need to put some appletini on your dick
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
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