who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Randomize
