The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
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