I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
Babe.. You are farting in your sleep and it literally smells like something crawled up your asshole and died.. I'm gagging and I feel like I'm eating your fart right now. I want to tape your ass cheeks shut and plug up that canon you call your ass. All I hear is snores and farts.. You are lucky I love you
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
Randomize
