R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize
