I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
Randomize