Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize
