Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
Randomize
