Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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