I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
Randomize
