It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
you mean i was at the winter classic?
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Randomize
