why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
Randomize
