just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
Randomize