Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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