Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Randomize
