we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
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