There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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