I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
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