We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
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