I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
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