he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
