Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
Randomize
