i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
Those nachos came to me in a dream
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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