I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
Randomize
