he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
Randomize
