You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
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