none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
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