she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
