Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
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