I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
and the officer said have you been drinking
and i said NOO SIR.
and he said, I am a woman.
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
Randomize
