That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
Randomize
