I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
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