who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
