I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
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