You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
Randomize
