We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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