She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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