she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
Randomize
