Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize
