He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
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