i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
