I just woke up covered In blood, I have cuts all over my body, I can't find my clothes from last night, I'm still wasted, i'm pretty sure I have a sprained ankle, and the best part is, I have absolutely no recollection of what led to this. THAT'S why vodka is the greatest drink in the world.
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
Randomize
