i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
Randomize
