SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize