It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
organizing the empties. That sober.
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
Randomize
