The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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