so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
Randomize
