Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
