Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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