you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
Randomize
